10 February, 2012

I'm A Curious (Fellow)

I don't have all of the answers. Evidently, however, I have a gift for understatement. I should have said "Wow! - do I NOT have all of the answers," and there is so much I continue to wonder about.

Preface: I have a medical history that is uncommon. When I was in my early twenties, I was given a rather unpleasant diagnosis and told the illness would probably kill me. When I had another illness two decades later, my wife was told that I would not life through the night. Since then, there have been a couple of other diagnoses that most do not survive. Twice electrodes have been inserted into my heart only to be removed later because of infection. And then there is all of the more routine stuff. My file is quite hefty, and of course, I have recently added several more pages, with more to come next month.

Yet, I have never wondered why these things were happening to me. "Why me?" was simply not part of my thought process. Perhaps conversely, I have wondered why I was still alive - to what end, for what purpose, at whose intervention, if any. Those answers I still seek, but that I am here to write at all is clearly a gift of immense proportion. All I hope is that I don't squander my opportunity. That would, indeed, be tragic.

In Angels and Demons, the Cardinal said, “Mr. Langdon, thanks be to God for sending someone to protect this church. ” Landon replied, “I don’t believe He sent me, Father. ” “Oh, my son, of course He did,” was the Cardinals reaction.

One has to wonder if anyone is ever truly sent to help when we are in peril. Or is it just coincidence when someone gives you just what you need at the most propitious time? One has to wonder when you see the power they exercise, when you see the gifts they bear.

One has to wonder.
One just does.