26 January, 2014

The New Pastor

The young man had just been graduated from Bible College and was called to pastor a church close to his home town. The young man was so nervous at his first service, he could hardly speak.

Before his second appearance in the pulpit, though, he asked his former Pastor how he could relax. The older minister said, "Next Sunday, it may help if you put a little vodka in your water glass. After a few sips, everything should go smoothly. I will be visiting your church next week to see how things go for you."

The next Sunday the young minister put the suggestion into practice and was able to talk up a storm. He felt great! After the service, however, his former Pastor pulled him aside and offered this advice for him.

     1. Next time sip rather than gulp.
     2. There are 10 commandments, not 12
     3. There are 12 disciples, not 10
     4. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
     5. The recommended grace before meals is not "Rub-a-dub-dub,
         thanks for the grub. Yeah God!"
     6. We do not refer to Our Savior Jesus and His disciples as
         "J.C. and the Boys"
     7. David slew Goliath; he did not "kick the crap out of him."
     8. Last, but not least, The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost
         are never referred to as "Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook."
Author Unknown