11 November, 2012

The Creation Of Man

The account of Man's creation in the book of Genesis is so familiar and so entrenched in our cultural heritage that many accept as actual historic fact the assertion that Woman was created from one of Adam's ribs.

Science has railed against such simple beliefs for centuries. Last week at a dig in the escarpments along the western shore of the Dead Sea, archeologists uncovered ancient, original texts that pre-date these writings by 1,300 years. Translated, their account of life's beginnings on earth are much more scientifically plausible.

Some passages read as follows: "... and God created Woman, giving her three breasts to succor her young."

"And God spoke, saying to her, 'I have created thee as I see fit, but mine is no longer the only opinion in the universe (sigh). Is there anything about thee that thou would prefer to be different?'"

"And Woman spoke, saying, 'Lord, I am not made to birth whole litters. I do not need but two breasts.'"

"And God said, 'Thou speak wisely, as I have created thee with wisdom.'" There was a crack and a lingering odor of ozone, and it was done. Woman stood holding her third breast in her hand.

"'Now just what am I going to do with this useless boob?' Woman exclaimed."

And so it was, and God created Man.
Author Unknown