12 June, 2011

The Last Two Gifts Of Creation

t seemed that God was just about finished creating the universe, but there were two things left in His bag of creations. He was more than ready to rest though and simply decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things He had to give away was the ability to urinate while standing up.

"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple whom he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."

Before God had a chance to explain any further, Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to. Please, please, please let me have that ability. It would be so great!"

"When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It would be so cool. I could even write my name in the sand. Oh please, God, let it be me to whom You give that gift. Let me stand and pee. Oh please ..."

Adam went on and on like an excited little boy who actually did have to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, he should have it, that it seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, and that she would be quite content if Adam were the one given the speciall ability.

And so ... Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his urination while in a vertical position. He was happy and celebrated his ability by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him. He laughed with delight all the while, and it was good.

"Fine," God said and looked back into his bag of leftover gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms ... "

Author Unknown