01 January, 2012
Forrest Gump and St. Peter
"Okay," said Forrest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. I took one at the draft board just so I could join the United States Army."
"Yes, Forrest, I know, but this test has only three questions. Here they are.
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?"
"Well, sir," said Forrest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? That would be Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."
"The next question," said Forrest, "How many seconds are in a year? That would be twelve."
"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"
St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one too."
"And the last question," said Forrest, "What is God's first name? Well, it's 'Andy.'"
"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"
"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."
St. Peter opened the Gate to Heaven and said, "Welcome to Heaven, Forrest, and Happy New Year. Oh, by the way, Jennie has been waiting for you."
Posted by Thom Brown