14 June, 2013

What's In A Name

It's been building again after I looked at my student names for next semester -- so I guess I'll just let it fly again. Do you get it? I don't get it, and I'm a pretty sensitive guy, especially when it comes to diversity issues.

Quite a while ago I had an email from one of my daughters that detailed some of the patient names that she has encountered. I'll quote the good doctor (with her reactions) because I can't improve on it, but I have added some other names in italics I've come across.

Sirus (pronounced Sirius, pesky vowels)
Nixie (rhymes with Pixie)
Xcellence (sure) -- Brilliant, Famous, Marvelous, Beautiful
Yoav Ze'Ev (I'm sure it's something beautiful in Hebrew, but some things just don't translate)
Sol (sun in Spanish) and her sister Lluvia (rain) -- Moo
Athena and Minerva (oh, yes) -- Cypher, Euphemia
Deaushanay (extra vowels make you smarter) -- Honestii
Nicodemus (not as good as Nostradamus but still ...) -- Godswill, Heavan, Psalms
Jacqeline (because once again, it's okay to drop some of those pesky vowels) - Mylz, Kdynce
Letchia (only God knows how it should be pronounced) -- Penisimani, Dearria
Griselda (of all the names from Harry Potter to run with ...)

How about Governor or Kingsolomon? Princemichael or Princewilliam? It absolutely boggles. Come on! No wonder this country has been on a downward trajectory.

And what can you say about a child whose parents loved her so much they named her Eh? That's the name stamped on more than one child's psyche.

What possesses people to saddle their children with these names? Life is hard enough as it is. They don't need this. No one is going to think "What clever parents you had. Here's a job. What salary would you like to start at?" They're going to think - as I do - "you're parents were blithering idiots" or "if you go to court, you can change that to something that might not stigmatize you for the rest of your life."

There I feel much better.


Happy Friday.